Sea Turtles

Sea Turtles 

Year's ago on the big island 

of Hawaii, I saw them,

on their backs baking in the heat.

Scaled flippers flailing continuously 

in their desperate 

motion to right themselves.

It irritated me to see them struggle,

and I knew they would perish.

But my boyfriend who grew up 

on the big island 

stopped me from

aiding the unfortunate marine reptiles.

The fishermen were old time islanders

Japanese, Portuguese and 

local mixed Hawaiians

they had always done this to sea turtles 

as they had been taught  

and learned to before.

The scene ached for remedy and education 

about there coming scarcity,

the year 1978

Still I couldn't understand 

how people born near the ocean

harvesting its animals could allow

such cruelty and suffering.

My agitation became unbearable, 

I wanted to flee

the awful sight of torture 

flee the misery

and my static helplessness.

Ahh, Disibility

        Ahh

Like the growing surge 

the slow tightening 

of a cramping muscle, 

the calamity of family betrayal

grips me with overwhelming pain.

Immediately,

options run the corridors   

of my mind 

and my twisted leaping heart

for a resolution. 

Sweeping over me like an icy wind, 

came the recognition that somehow 

I am responsible.

I am, for my frustration and fear,

but only wanting support 

and an iota of commiseration.

I am confused by their ferocity

their righteous vehemence 

that I've done wrong.

   

They name my toxic lingering anger 

that overwhelms them 

and me of along with it

and influences my behavior.

They, my children, informed me,

and such a declaration 

ricocheted Into my bones.

Courage is required upon waking

mortified by a body that can't walk or talk,

to bear the burden of my inching decline,

anger is also known as fear

of the unknown 

like shadows hide roving sharks 🦈 

to eat me.

I may not see old age, 

and will lose surly as 

the sun ☀️ will rise tomorrow 

ever more abilities

to this dreadful condition,

that thrusts me into the role 

of freak and slob that I abhor.

Love and tolerance may not win

In this intimate family betrayal,

and like songbirds,

spinning haunting notes 

through the night,

you will look and long for them 

when the birds 🐦 

do not show again in the fall.